love note #11: He loves me/He loves me n…

I don’t know how and when i fell asleep the previous night..maybe the pining heart rested a while in the comforts of the flashes of those ‘together’ days.Next morning was no different…only thing in my heart… “a wait for him” and only thing on my mind… “will he feel what i feel for him”.. “does he feel how i feel for him ” …should i let my heart think that he feels the same way too…

…no answers…just a silent calm wait…all day long  locked up  inside my room..all alone.Somehow it was good that i was alone, and that it was a holiday(Independence Day,15th August) …i needed to gather myself up.. 

He called once early afternoon…we could not talk much..maybe for the first time…there was something lurking in between…that made us uneasy..that held us captive…that didn’t let us talk freely…there was nothing much to be said when the only thing that should be said is not being said..when there’s only this one thing u want to hear.He hung up the call saying he will call again in the evening.The day crawled by with time and me left standing at the same point i last saw him…i last held his hand in mine…

He called in the evening and seemed somewhat restless..struggling with himself.He finally said he has something to ask me…but is not sure if he should…but something told me that’s the only thing i wanted to hear…what’s in his heart and he is not able to say.I kind of told him to please share whatever it is troubling him…maybe things would get better for both of us.He said he doesn’t want it to affect what we have..our lovely friendship…the way we are.I assured him it would not. (with the urge in my heart that it would make him say that he feels the same way for me as i do for him..and with the fear..what if he says he could sense my feelings but…) No..i didn’t wanna think anything..i would rather wait…wait for him..

The next day i had my lab.I walked along the same streets and roads on which we both had walked together a day before…n now i was so desperately alone…and i didn’t want it this way…i didn’t want to walk alone anymore..i wanted him by my side…forever..

I somehow managed to do my day’swork….all mechanically..with my heart and mind preoccupied with him…his call…and the clock ticking ever so slowly…

That evening as i walked back to my room…i could see my steps walking towards my destiny… and all i hoped for and needed was for it to be ‘our’ destiny…

I knew, in a while he will call and this call would decide my life…our life… from the very next moment on…